Monday, September 12, 2011

Maryland uniforms

Crazy Maryland uniforms might be the norm soon

about an hour to get a headache watching Monday night’s college football game between Maryland and Miami.

If Maryland wanted to make a splash with those bizarre what-grade-school-kid-designed-these-crazy-looking uniforms, the Terps accomplished their goal. Of course, you probably had to be a male between 14 and 25 to think the combination of colors and zig-zags was actually cool.

The rest of us just reached for the aspirin bottle.

The Terps’ wild outfits actually made the 65 (or is it 85?) color combos used by Oregon the past couple years look rather tame. Some are suggesting that Maryland isn’t just unveiling the new uniforms as a marketing tool.

Instead, the Terps are appealing to the 16- or 17-year-old recruits who might otherwise not look at the school. However, Maryland announced this week it was auctioning off the helmets and uniforms for a charity. Well done.

Conference realignment may not be the most turbulent thing ahead in college football. Rest assured other schools that can’t compete with the Alabamas, Ohio States and Oklahomas for the top studs are watching the Maryland experiment carefully.

All it will take is for the Terps to land a couple blue-chip recruits and the next thing you know the race will be on to design to see who can come up with the most distinctive — and ugly — unis.

Here’s hoping Illinois refrains from becoming the Maryland of the Big Ten Conference. Could you see the Illini putting an image of Dick Butkus, complete with his college crew cut, on their helmets?

At least Penn State will stay with its vanilla look … at least until JoePa is gone.

College FB: Notre Dame at Michigan (ESPN, Saturday 7 p.m.): Hopefully, the only thunder and lightning will come from Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly’s sideline fury.

NFL: Falcons at Bears (Fox, Sunday noon): Jay Cutler would like to make Chicago fans forget how his last real game on what poses as sod at Soldier Field ended.

U.S. Open tennis: Singles finals (CBS, women Sunday, men Monday 3 p.m.): The rain delays give viewers another day to enjoy John McEnroe’s top-notch work as an analyst.

Maryland Uniforms: Fashion Statement or Train Wreck?

2:31 p.m. | Updated

maryland uniformPatrick Semansky/Associated PressJust about any uniform looks good when you’re getting into the end zone.

College football has often pushed the envelope with uniform styles. Oregon, with help from its neighbor Nike, has sported multiple color combinations and helmets. But the latest Maryland uniforms, which made their debut Monday night in the Terps’ season opener against Miami, had people talking on Twitter and elsewhere.

A Twitter account that parodies the Hall of Fame basketball player Bill Walton wrote said, “Abercrombie is paying the Jersey Shore cast to NOT wear AF clothing. I hope someone pays Maryland to never wear these horrid uniforms again.”

The television and radio personality Jim Rome said, “Whatever the NCAA does to Miami, it should double for Maryland. Those helmets truly demonstrate a lack of institutional control.”

Clearly, the uniforms by Under Armour did not resonate with basketball players. LeBron James wrote, “OH GOSH! Maryland uniforms #Ewwwww!”

But while the helmets were an aesthetic shock to the mainstream sports world, a roller derby team from Baltimore was taken aback for a different reason: they had been wearing nearly identical helmets for the past three years.

“They’re not identical, but they’re shockingly similar,” said Hillary “Rosie the Rioter” Rosensteel, the captain of the Charm City Roller Girls All-Star team, in an interview with the Baltimore Sun.

maryland uniformRob Carr/Getty ImagesMix-and-match sleeves and two-sided helmets helped distinguish the Maryland uniforms.

The uniforms will give the Terps a lot of publicity, and if they sell well at the gift shop, the university will be happy. What is your take on the design, and what other uniform choices did it bring to mind?

(The Bill Walton Twitter quotation was originally attributed to the real Bill Walton. I guess my vision was impaired by the Terps’ helmets because I missed that the account was clearly labeled as a parody. But I still liked the quotation too much to delete it. Apologies to the Big Redhead. JJL)

The Maryland Terrapins just landed the rare second appearance in Man Up Monday. The first time it was for catching an ass whoopin at the hand of the Duke Blue Devils basketball team.

maryland uniform

They caught a real beatdown that night. We’ve covered the fact that Maryland is not Duke’s rival. The fact that Maryland Students still think rioting is cool. But today we are going to cover the Maryland football team.

A few weeks ago, Maryland Football announced that they were going to go the way of Oregon Football and are now rocking the wild, interchangeable uniforms every week.

maryland uniform

You know they wanted to take it to the next level when they went with the turtle shell on the helmet.

You know, I have a theory about fashion. The rule is that if you are going to push it, you get to choose one thing that is out of the ordinary. You want to wear a wild bright color? Fine, make it a t-shirt and keep everything else simple. You want to rock a hat or vest or some white shoes? Do your thing, just don’t wear all three at once. So when the Maryland uniforms went with the turtle shell AND the color shift numbers, so you gotta keep the pants simple.

maryland uniform

I’m thinking Canary yellow is not keeping it simple. My man second from the right is looking off camera like “You got me in the bitchiest version of this punk ass uniform. White pants and a yellow jersey? This some bullshit.” I hope they break out the yellow on yellow on yellow just because they can. They didn’t have a picture of that version of the uniform looks like, but I found a picture on my own.

maryland uniformmaryland uniformmaryland uniform

The funniest part abo

Maryland Uniforms

maryland uniformMaryland's state flag-inspired uniforms caused a storm on Twitter and in

maryland uniformMaryland Football Uniforms Are Genius

maryland uniformMaryland displayed these beauties recently

maryland uniformHeinous Maryland uniforms prove it's more about business than tradition

maryland uniformMaryland's Uniforms Failed the Eye Test

maryland uniformMaryland Uniforms Awesome Or Ugly?

maryland uniformMaryland's Uniforms Are Ugliest in College Football, Hands Down

maryland uniformgo so far as to say Maryland's uniforms are ugly,

maryland uniformMaryland Uniforms Draws Lots

maryland uniformMaryland Terrapins Uniforms are Brilliant

ut these new ridiculous unis? The fact that they were holding back. They had one more design up their sleeves. First of all. The State of Maryland has the most aggressive flag in the Union.

maryland uniform

It is half racing flag, half coat of arms. So take that flag and splash it all over a football uniform.

maryland uniform

Dubya. Tee. Eff.

That thing is an atrocity. Complete with the matching shirt sleeve. It is called a UNIFORM. By definition it is supposed to make everyone look the same. Meanwhile, last night on the field last night, they looked like two different teams.

maryland uniform

It is like someone designed two NFL Europe Uniforms and mashed them together. Whatever they did, those are awful and needed the Man Up Monday treatment this week.

Please. Please. Please let them bring the basketball team out in some wildness like this. I’ll need a good laugh come ACC Basketball season.

Maryland Terrapins. Man Up!

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