Monday, September 5, 2011

No...Bad Kitty...Kitty Bad Bad Bad

He just denied all accusations of him being a kitty. I swear this cat lost his freakin' mind out there on his so-called 'vision quest'. Today it was a new story. In this version of his 'explanation' he got into some bad mushrooms and it took him three weeks to come down.

I have no sympathy if it was 'inconvenient' for him to wake up so I could change my sheets and pillow cases this morning - when he happened to have been sleeping on them - a situation unchanged from 16 hours earlier.

If I was a hotel he would already owe me TWO day's rent.

Oh and he gave me the face like eating the 'Temptations' cat treats are him doing ME a favor. Just because I bought two of the SAME FLAVOR instead of making sure each bag was a different flavor, he feels hard done by.

I just tossed him in the yard and don't want to hear from him for several hours. He knows where all the cool shady spots are. If not, he can eat grass and lie in the sun and make himself sick. At this point I am done listening to his ennui.

I hate the most that he somehow blames me for his domestication. He got a pretty sweet deal if you ask me. His attitude is neither welcome nor appreciated. If he is having a late life crisis in the summer how is he going to behave after the third month of winter cabin fever sets in?

I apologize to those of you who feel my reactions have been rash and harsh. I remind you I am currently emboldened by the first poop after eating THREE ears of fresh corn yesterday. Yeh, I pretty much could conquer the world right now. So one moody cat who is annoyed with my inability to stop the sun from shining so hot on where he is sitting isn't affecting me much.

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